New Piercing = Happy Dreams

I just got a new piercing and HOLY COW DO I FEEL AWESOME!  Body mods always put me in a good mood, but piercing has a special place in my heart.  I can see how it’d be totally easy for me to get addicted to them.  I have a lot of weird mixed up ideas about my own body, and being able make intentional small changes helps me feel like I have more power over the skin suit I’m in.

My new industrial symbolizes the close of my time in Humboldt County and the start of new projects in the Bay Area.  Its also, in a way, a little strength charm.  I got it to help remind me of how strong I am.

Something about it went really right.  My first night of sleeping on it was filled with strength dreams.  The most vivid dream had this girl in it, who I’ve never seen but felt like she was supposed to be a friend.  She came in and started immidiately bad-mouthing everything about me, how I do business, how I present myself, and my house.  I asked her politely to show more respect while in my house.  She laughed at me and launched whole-heartedly into a new assault.

So I calmly led her to the door and said, “Out.  Not in my house.” and then (with a smile) “have a nice day, and drive safe.”

I was very kind about it, but there were absolutely no butts about what I did.  No ground would be given, and no words of distention would be tolerated either.

I’ve been known to hold that kind of strength for other people, but I haven’t actually done it that much for myself.  Over the years (especially those years in Humboldt) I’ve slowly gotten stronger and more sure of my boundaries.  I’ve become much more sure of myself and of my own self-worth.  This isn’t to say that I was insecure before… but my self worth used to be measured much more strongly on other people’s definitions.

Through my time at Humboldt, I’ve found these definitions haven’t matched up with my own very much at all.

Now, I feel much more secure of myself on my own terms.

I feel more than braced to jump into a bigger pond.

I feel ready.

I’ve also committed to doing push ups immediately after each salt rinse of the piercing, and at two times a day for the next several weeks I should be getting a little boost of physical strength as well!

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PS- OK, I’m spiritually and mentally ready for sure…. but I still have a LOT of packing to do.  Eeep!